Quickest way to lose weight

It seems that all I hear is how hard it is for women over 40 to lose weight, never mind those of us who are over 50!

I'll be honest here. When I was in my 20's I was grossly underweight! When I was nine months pregnant with my son I weighed 108 pounds. It wasn't that I didn't eat or that I had an eating disorder because I didn't. I ate everything in site! Pizza, hamburgers with cheese, french fries with chocolate milkshakes, everything, hot fudge sundaes, you name it I ate it.

Now 50 has rolled around and I'm on the opposite end of the scale, so to speak. I find myself wearing a size 16, feeling a little heavy for my bone structure. I'm FAT! I never thought I would ever say that let alone admit it online to thousands of people!

I don't want to be fat! I didn't want to weigh 98 pounds either! Why have I had these two extremes in my weight??? I didn't feel any better being under weight than I do being over weight. In school I got made fun of for being too thin just like some kids do for being too fat. I envied the chubby girls, I could never find clothes that fit me.

Now I have the same problem in the years where I am supposed to be (and I am, mentally) comfortable in my own skin. Physically I feel like I'm packing around a 50 pound bag of dog food every where I go. My bones and joints are feeling the wear. I feel tired easier and I love to fly fish and hike, which I can still do, just a little more slowly.

Every year I start this New Years resolution to lose weight and keep it off. I sign up for sparkpeople and track my food and my activity because its free. I buy books to read up on the lastest diets and how to eat right for my body type. I exercise. I even paid big bucks for a personal trainer for six months a couple years ago. It all works! I lose weight and get toned up.

However, and this is the big one, I don't maintain that weight loss or the exercise programs I paid so much to learn.

At this point in my life my doctor tells me I have an eating disorder. Well he actually told me that about 12 years ago. In my mind I'm thinking WHAT THE HECK? This guy isn't the doctor I thought he was, while to his face I'm smiling and shaking my head yes like I agree with him. But he didn't stop there! He insisted on blood tests. He said to "test my thyroid levels". Well I had no idea what a thyroid even was but I just kept shaking my head yes and thinking it was all a big waste of time because when he said I had an eating disorder he lost his credibility with me.

Well I left that day thinking how could this man, this DOCTOR, tell me I have an eating disorder? I DON'T over eat, I DON'T starve myself or vomit after every bite I take. This was very confusing for me and I disregarded him as a viable partner in my healthcare program.

A couple weeks later when my doctor's nurse called me to tell me I needed to come in to discuss my blood tests I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled an appointment. When my doctor came into the exam room I was sitting in a chair instead of on the exam table, showing my rebeliousness at this attack on my intellect. He just smiled and laid my chart on the table instead and opened it up to read my test results, which I imagined he already had, thus the phone call and appointment. I crossed my arms across my chest and stared at him with a mutinous look on my face.

He proceeded, at this time, to tell me that my thyroid was dead. That "I" had killed it by not eating regularly, not sleeping and wearing myself down. He knew all this because I took care of my mom while she was dying of cancer as well as working a full time job and taking care of my teenage son. He asked me questions like: Have you seen a grief councilor? Are you eating every day? Are you sleeping eight hours a night? He gave me a food and sleep tracker that he wanted me to fill out daily for two weeks and told me to schedule another appointment. He also wrote me a script for thyroid pills that I had to take in the morning every morning, for the rest of my life, he said.

As of that date I had known my doctor for nearly 20 years so he knew me pretty well, which was lucky for me. I kept the little journal he gave me faithfully and took it back with me in two weeks. He looked it over and told me that I did indeed have an eating disorder: I go all day long without eating then I come home at night and eat dinner. Or, when my mom was dying of cancer, I wouldn't eat for days at a time, yet thats when I started gaining weight! He also learned that sometimes I run on very little sleep ( Mom sick? none at all ). He said these things combined with the stress and grief had caused me to lose my thyroid function and destroy my metabolism.

Ok, I don't know about you but destroy is a huge word to me! It means gone, not fixable right? WRONG! According to my faithful partner in my healthcare its entirely fixable, IF YOU FOLLOW THE ADVICE. He gave me an eating plan, which if I follow it, revs up my metabolism and I lose weight. Some weeks up to six pounds.

You would think a six pound a week weight loss would be a huge incentive to stick to his eating plan wouldn't you? Well it is and it isn't. It's haaaarrrrdd! IT TAKES TIME! It means I have to get up in the morning eat breakfast, fix two snacks and a lunch every day! Then I have to pack it in ice, in the summer, and carry it back and forth. I also have to wash the containers every night and start all over.... etc. etc. I have to PLAN AHEAD! I hate that! I also hate eating six times a day. I'm not an eater so its easier for me to eat once a day and be fat. I have this huge aversion to germs and I don't like eating in public areas. I can't make it the night before because bread or wraps get soggy and gross and I can't put THAT in my mouth. If I eat in the morning I'm hungry two hours later and I have to EAT again! Isn't the world ending this year???

See the point I'm trying to make here? I have made so many excuses NOT to eat right, NOT to love myself enough, NOT to make myself the important part of my day that I will NEVER lose weight so I can enjoy the better things in life, fly fishing, hiking, fitting into those size 8's or 10's or even wearing a bathing suite in public.

So, TODAY, January 15, 2012, I am making my New Year Resolution to love myself enough to find a way to follow my doctor's advice to eat SIX small meals a day at least five days a week, maybe six days a week. Then just like exercise I will give myself a day off.

I am hoping you all will hold me accountable as I will be posting my progress through the next year, maybe even post what I am eating and doing for exercise. I hope that some of you will join me and we can support each other!

Take your Doctor's advice and know that he may not be smarter than you but he sure knows a lot about some things. Get a check up! Love yourself!